“Now the sons of Eli were corrupt; they did not know the Lord … and honor your sons more than Me … his sons made themselves vile, and he did not restrain them.” (1 Samuel 2:12,29;3:13)

Three Failures Of Parenting

Little is known about Eli, who served as priest and judge for the people of God before the days of Samuel. His story revolves around other people more than himself. When Hannah comes to Shiloh to pray, Eli takes her actions as those of a drunken woman. She was not, but in a state of grief, longing for a child. God grants Hannah her prayer and gives her a son, Samuel. Hannah presents Samuel to Eli the priest to serve before the Lord. The next story of Eli revolves around his two sons, Hophni and Phinehas, who served as priests with their father. His sons are known as “men of Belial” (or worthlessness). They would force the people to give them food from their offerings, threatening to use force if they refused. Hophni and Phinehas also seduced the young women who assisted at the entrance of the Tabernacle. 

The Bible is filled with examples of good parenting and bad parenting. Eli failed as a parent because he refused to correct his sons and to punish their disobedience. He served as priest for the nation of Israel and did not teach his sons. His role as judge of the people gave him authority to enforce the law, but allowed his sons to be lawless. He would not rebuke his sons. The best he could do was to chide them for their greed and immorality gently. Three things are said about Eli that should serve as a warning and teaching opportunity for all parents. His sons did not know the Lord, Eli loved his sons more than God, and while he saw their actions as reviling to the Lord, he did not restrain them.

Faith in the family begins at home. Hophni and Phinehas were raised by a man who was the judge and priest of God’s people. It seems incredulous that the sons of a judge and priest grew up not knowing the Lord. Eli was more concerned about others than his own family. His sons needed to know about the Lord, but they did not hear that from their father’s voice. He was so busy caring for the people of the land that he neglected his own family. Eli stood before the people as the priest of the Lord, stained with the example of his sons who corrupted the institution Eli represented. As a judge, his authority was tainted as his sons acted in such a lawless manner.

The root of the problem lies in the fact that Eli loved his sons more than God. Hophni and Phinehas could do no wrong in the eyes of Eli. When the man of God came to Eli, warning him of the death of his sons and the curse upon his lineage, he told Eli how he honored his sons more than the Lord. Eli knew that his sons’ actions were evil, but his love for them overshadowed any rebuke or chastening. Hophni and Phinehas knew their father was someone who would never punish them, so they acted wickedly. They acted unrestrained because there was no restraint.

When a child lives without restraint, they will live as they please. Hophni and Phinehas made themselves vile, and Eli did nothing to stop them. He talked them to death. His gentle rebuke fell on deaf ears and wicked hearts. It bothered Eli what his sons were doing, but he took no action. His knowledge that his sons were committing fornication with the women serving at the Tabernacle was an affront to the glory of God. Hophni and Phinehas were proud, arrogant, and wicked men who believed they could do no wrong. They bullied the people to get what they wanted. What Eli did not teach them was the judgment of the Lord. That would come soon enough.

Now Israel went out to battle against the Philistines, and Israel was defeated with the loss of about four thousand men. Distraught over their defeat, the people came to Eli wanting to bring the ark of the covenant into the camp to instill fear in the Philistines. Hophni and Phinehas brought the ark into camp to the loud cheering of the army, causing fear to sweep throughout the Philistine army. So, the Philistines fought and defeated Israel, killing thirty-thousand-foot soldiers. They also captured the ark of the tabernacle and killed Hophni and Phinehas. Judgment day had come to the sons of Eli.

Eli failed as a father, and his example continues today. Parents who do not teach their children to know the Lord will find their children lost in the world without hope. They may be successful CEO’s of great companies, but their soul is lost. Parents who love their children more than righteousness and truth will reap the whirlwind of sin. Blood is not thicker than water. God must come first, and if a child is not serving the Lord, they are lost to divine perdition. Parents who do not correct their rebellious children are setting their children up for a miserable life, believing they are entitled to what the world has to offer. Children must be taught to know the Lord so they can humble themselves before someone greater than themselves. Parents who do not prepare their children for eternity are failures. Ask Eli, the priest and judge of Israel.