Then Job answered and said: “I have heard many such things; miserable comforters are you all! Shall words of wind have an end? Or what provokes you that you answer? I also could speak as you do, if your soul were in my soul’s place. I could heap up words against you, and shake my head at you; but I would strengthen you with my mouth, and the comfort of my lips would relieve your grief. (Job 16:1-5)

The Sound Of Silence

There is no greater story of suffering than the man Job, who suffered loss at the highest level in less than 24 hours. The Sabeans raided his flocks and killed the servants. Fire from heaven fell upon the sheep and servants, killing them. The Chaldeans raided the camels, took them away, and killed the servants with the edge of the sword. And then the news came to Job and his wife their seven sons and three daughters were killed in a storm that destroyed the house they were in. Job arose, tore his robe, shaved his head, fell to the ground, and worshipped. He proclaimed in his loss that he had come into the world with nothing, and he would return with the same.

The life of Job would take another tragic turn when painful boils from the soles of his feet to the crown of his head consumed him. Job took a piece of broken pottery to scrape his skin as he sat among a heap of ashes. It seemed Job’s misery would not end. He maintained his integrity and did not sin nor charge God with wrong. After the boils covered his body, his wife could not understand how he retained his integrity, begging him to curse God and die. Job kept his faith in God.

When Job’s four friends heard of his plight, they came to see how they could comfort him. They were astonished at what they saw. When they saw him from afar, they did not recognize him. Lifting their voices in lament and eyes filled with tears, they tore their clothes and sprinkled dust on their heads toward heaven. Then, they sat on the ground with him for seven days and nights. During those seven days, no one said a word to Job. When they looked at their friend, all they could see was the intensity of suffering was too great for words. They sat in silence to comfort their friend.

Breaking the silence after seven days, Job cursed the day of his birth. Eliphaz spoke first, accusing Job of sinning. He believed the suffering came as a result of a sin or sins Job committed and that God was chastening him. Job denied the charge. Bildad and Zophar told Job he should repent. Again, Job answers his critics and claims his innocence. Eliphaz accuses Job of foolishness. Job responds by telling his three friends who accused him they were miserable comforters. Eliphaz, Bildad, and Zophar were close friends of Job and wanted desperately to find a way to ease the suffering of Job. Instead, they only heightened it by saying the wrong things.

When Job’s friends initially came to see him, they did the best thing they could do. They sat in silence with their friend for seven days and nights. Sometimes, the best remedy for grief is silence. What makes this silence so loud is the comfort it gives to the one suffering. The mistake the three friends made with Job was trying to explain something they could not explain or understand. Helping those with loss can be done with words only if the right words are chosen; and so often they are not. It is the human nature to try and take the pain away or divert the conversation from the reality, but overcoming loss is a process that takes love and patience.

So often, people are scared to talk with those grieving, and that kind of silence hurts. Words are helpful in the midst of loss, but so is the sound of silence when holding hands, hugs, and sitting with someone as they go through their grief. Showing love to the bereaved comes in many forms. No one is perfect at finding the right words, but showing love by being there and helping in any way can make the burden lighter and fulfill the law of God. Don’t ignore or neglect those going through loss. Job told his friends if he was in their place, he would try to encourage them. He would try to take away their grief. Be an encouragement. Sometimes, be the silence.